October 24th, 2020 Week 2 "Riding the Whirlwind" Home MTC

皆さん！

 

Has it already been a week? And yet, somehow, it seems like a paradox, doesn't it? I'm sure life for all of you has continued to march on, and yet for me, somehow it feels like it's stretched out for a long time.

 

I think a part of it has to do with how much my life has changed in the past week. And not only that, but I feel like even a week into the MTC, I've changed as well. I've learned so much, not only about the language and the Gospel, but about myself. I've learned more about who I am, and what I can offer. It's been one of the things I've done a lot of reflection about - who am I, and what can I do to help the people in Japan? What are my strengths, and what are my weaknesses? What are the gifts I've been given? And as I've thought about it, I've felt myself become more sure of myself - more sure of who I am.

 

This week was a lot of fun, but was definitely not without its challenges. Every day, class starts at 7:00 (they're an hour ahead of PST!), and runs for three hours. There's usually another three hour class after that. It's been something of a whirlwind tour! My class has gone from barely learning hiragana at the beginning of the week to basic lessons and conversations. I'm glad I was able to take that year of Japanese before I came here - everything's clicking really quickly, and what I've learned has helped me to focus on what really matters - the people. 

 

One of the interesting things that I've discovered as I've gone through this week is that learning the language and the gift of tongues isn't as reliant on study as I thought! I've found that as I've focused on the language, rather than the people, I end up messing up quite a bit. I focus too much on what I'm going to say, rather than what they're saying. I trip up on my words because I second guess myself. Things like that. But when I focus on the person I'm talking to, the teaching, or even the people as a whole - when I focus on conveying that love, I've found that I not only learn better, but I make fewer mistakes, and am more confident. And more importantly, we can have a conversation - rather than one person preaching. That's always been the most important part of being a missionary to me, even since I was a kid.

 

Missions are all about others. We sacrifice two years of our lives to go out all over the world, listening to people's stories, listening to their troubles and problems, and helping them in whatever way we can. We get the opportunity to talk to people of all walks of life - the rich, the poor, the comfortable, the needy. Everyone has problems in their lives - and we as missionaries get the opportunity to help in both big and small ways. I think that's why I've always wanted to serve a mission, because I've known that I'd be able to do what I've always loved to do - help people, and bring them comfort.

 

"Courage" has been a common theme for me this week. As I've gone through this week of studies and adjusting to missionary life, I've found myself drawing closer to the Lord in prayer. And as He does with all who pray with sincerity of heart, He has answered every single one, in His own way and His own time. But after talking to my parents about some of the impressions I've felt, one of the things they said that really resonated with me.

 

"Courage isn't hard when other people are harsh. It's hard when you see your own terror and shortcomings, and still choose to move on, to learn and to grow."

 

I've thought about what they've said over and over again. And I've realized that I've been running away from failure for probably as long as I've been alive. Whether it be schoolwork, with friends, or with any part of my life, I've realized I've never had courage - but I've had fear. As I've gone through this week, I've tried my best to have that courage - to try my best to do my best, no matter the mistakes.

 

Mistakes happen - but it's how we react to it that defines who we are. And we have to have the courage to accept our mistakes. But it's one thing to accept our mistakes - it's another to keep moving. To keep putting one foot in front of the other. That's the hard part. I like 2 Timothy 1:7 for this - "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

 

We can do everything we can do - prepare and plan, study and make efforts to learn and grow, and then go and speak confidently with power... but at the center of it all is love. Without that love, nothing else matters.

 

And as I've found myself consecrating this time to the Lord, listening to Him, and placing myself in an environment where I can truly feel His Spirit, free of too much noise and distraction, I've found my love increasing. Not only for Him, but for the people I'm talking to, my district, my teachers... and ultimately, the people I'll be helping in Japan.

 

It's a long road - but I think it's definitely one worth treading.

 

Sorry for the late email this week - this one was a little bit longer! I promise I'll try to get better about being more condensed and have more highlights of the week as they happen, haha. I've learned so much in this one week, and my whole perspective has shifted. I've become happier and more confident in what I'm doing, and confident in the Lord. It's been an amazing experience - and it's only been a week! I can't wait to see what things'll be like at the end of nine weeks... or when I actually get to the mission field!

 

Love you all! Take care - you're all amazing.

- Elder Decker

 

p.s. I was trying to find pictures to take, but all I really had to show you was my desk, which even then isn't really much to write home about. (literally.) If you all want pictures, what sorts of things do you want to see? Let me know! :c